Only a Car
by Koezh
Summary: Ever wondered why Jane loves his car so much? Random one-shot on a possible reason why...


**Disclaimer: **How many times do I have to say it? I do NOT own the mentalist, or get money from this.

**Author's Note: **I had such an awesome day yesterday and my first driving lesson!!! How cool if that? :) Anyway when I got home all I could think about when trying to write was cars so I had this idea for the origins on Jane's car. I don't know if his wife was really like this but I don't even know her name so meh. The information on the car is accurate as possible btw. Not sure about the ending, I must've changed it six, no seven times but I hope you guys like :)

I fished into my pocket for the keys, pulling them out I unlocked my door and went inside the desserted building. It was empty. Desolate. Lifeless. Why did I even bother calling it home? It was just an empty shell like I was. All that kept me going was the flame of revenge burning where there had once been a heart.

I sighed mornfully as I felt the familiar loss associated with this place, and the new loss of my car. It wasn't just a car, it was a vintage Citroen DS 21 from 1972. They had no idea how important it was, how many times had she told me that? More times than I cared to count, I thought as I allowed my mind to drift back.

_I stood behind her with my hands covering her eyes as I led my wife outside into the glorious sunshine marking the day of her birth. I remember hearing a 4-year-old Holly giggle as she followed us into the driveway._

_"Can I open my eyes yet?" my wife asked curiously._

_"Okay," I agreed moving me hands away as I saw she was in the perfect position to see her present._

_"Is it for me, really?" she gasped in amazement._

_"Yep," I informed her as walked over to it studying it excitedly._

_"Do you know what car this is? Patrick its a vintage Citroen DS 21! And it's actually mine?" she continued to wonder as she circled the vehicle, her smile widening with each step. I loved to see her smile, it lit up her whole face._

_"Meh, a car's a car," I muttered smiling at her._

_"Huh, well you wouldn't understand. Holly does, right Hol?"_

_"No!" my dauhgter scoffed, "I'm with Daddy, just a car."_

_"Would you too quit insulting my precious car? It was voted car of the decade in 1999, it is not just any car," Laura sniffed half-heartedly as she continued to beam at her present, "well I love my car. I absolutely adore it."_

_"Don't I get any love? I bought it," I said with a look of mock-hurt._

_Laura turned her disarming smile to me and hugged me tightly, "I love you too Patrick of course!" she exclaimed leaning up to kiss me._

_"Don't I get love too? I... err... helped stand beside Daddy when we was buying it," Holly complained._

_Laura laughed as she pulled away and scooped Holly up smothering her with kisses. Holly giggled happily as Laura placed her back on the ground._

_"Keys?" she inquired and I threw them to her, "anyone want a test drive?"_

_"No," Holly and I answered together, laughing as she scowled._

_"The next kid we have, I swear is going to like cars," she announced stubbornly._

_"We were just kidding sweetie," I admitted encircling my arms around her, "we'd love to go with you in your new car."_

_"I wasn't!" Holly protested, "Mommy, you drive badder than Daddy!"_

_"But it's my birthday." _

_"We can get ice-cream," I offered to which her eyes brightened delightedly._

_"Not in my new car!" exclaimed Laura, "you don't treat a goddess like that, this car was designed by Flaminio Bertoni."_

_"But its your birthday," I informed her causing her to pout, "a compromise? We get ice-cream but don't eat in the car?"_

_"That sounds fair I suppose," she agreed as her smile danced back onto her face, she gently kissed me again, "I really do love this car Patrick, thank you."_

_"Anything for you."_

_"Can we just go? I wanna have ice-cream! Ooh can I have chocolate?" Holly interrupted._

_We broke off the embrace and climbed into the car. Laura sped through the streets -literally speeding- all the while giving us a running commentary on how great it was handling and how great it sounded. Holly and I just rolled our eyes as we half-listened to her observations._

I'd give anything to listen to her observations again.

I'd give anything to listen to her voice again.

I'd give anything to even see her again, and our child.

I noticed I was sobbing on the floor but didn't bother to stop. I still missed tham so much! I had told her I'd do anything for her yet the one thing she'd truly wanted I'd been too selfish to give her. Me and my stupid mouth on that stupid TV show, because I liked the stupid money and tricking the stupid people.

I continued to let the tears run down my cheeks. She'd loved that car so much, it always made me feel close to her and now it was gone along with everything else. It was gone, she was gone, Holly was gone.

I just cried.

_I opened my eyes and stood up wiping away my tears. I was so consumed by my grief it takes me a moment to realize my house has furniture. Everything I'd taken out was still there, scattered around me the slight disarray associated with my house. _

_I'm dreaming, I realize miserably. I'm gonna go upstairs now and find them gone all over again. I almost start crying had it not been for someone pulling their hands over my eyes._

_"What the...?"_

_"No peeking Patrick," comes Laura's musical voice in my ear._

_"Lau-Laura?" I gasp._

_"No Patrick I'm Laura's twin," comes her sarcastic reply._

_"Laura doesn't have a twin," I point out._

_"Then I guess I am Laura," she says in reply, "come on, I've got to show you something."_

_She leads me away in the direction of the front door? I can hear Holly giggling behind us. I didn't know where this dream was headed but for once I didn't want to wake up. We stop moving suddenly._

_"Can I open my eyes yet?" I ask curiously._

_"Okay," Laura agrees moving her hands away to reveal the Citroen DS 21, completely repaired without a single dent marring it._

_"What...?" I mutter with a slight smile as Laura spins herself in front of me, a smile on her face._

_"Isn't it the best car ever?" she informs me still beaming, "I love it Patrick! I love it so much."_

_"I-I'm glad," I whisper. Laura's smile widens as she reaches up and kisses me gently on the lips._

_"I love you Patrick," she whispers back, "thank you so much for a wonderful life and a wonderful birthday present."_

_"I love you too," I answer dazed._

_"Don't I get love too?" Holly pouts. I turn to look at our child as I pick her up and hug her tightly, she giggles, "you're the best Daddy!"_

_"Anyone wanna go for a test drive?" Laura asks waving the keys in her hand._

_"Yes," Holly and I say together to which Laura beams proudly at us._

_"About time!" she exclaims delightedly as I put Holly down, "Patrick, can you go grab Holly's coat? I left it inside."_

_I nod and race iniside to grab the coat. I search for it more frantically with each second. Where is that damned coat? I continue to look for it until I hear the engine being turned on. Panicked I run back outside to see them driving away._

_"Wait for me!" I scream after them chasing the vehicle._

_"We're going to get ice-cream Daddy!" Holly calls back._

_"Wait for me!" I scream after them again, I know if they leave they won't come back._

_"Follow us Patrick!" Laura answers, her sweet voice barely audible over the sound of the engine._

_"I can't! Don't go I love you, don't go!" I screech as tears stream from my face, "don't go!"_

_"We'll see you again Daddy, don't worry."_

_"We love you."_

_I cannot run anymore. I sink to the ground and watch the car drive away into the glorious sunset._

_"I love you too," I whisper._

My eyes snap open and I see the room empty again, devoid of everything again. The dawn blazes brightly through the window and I feel oddly at peace as I make my way into the kitchen and make some tea.

"Happy Birthday Laura," I say aloud without the hint of misery it usually carries, "I know you love your present, a vintage Citroen DS 21. Have fun with Holly."

I hear my phone ringing and look at the caller ID, Lisbon. Another day another case. I hope its a Red John case. I am really going to enjoy killing that sonofabitch, and even if it isn't Laura would definately approve of this. I answer the phone happily sipping my tea.

It's going to be a beautiful day.


End file.
